Love, Lies, and Life

Hi, I'm Reid.

I have blogged before, but mostly about fashion. Never really for drowning out my pain and tears or for shouting to the skies about how wonderful my life is. I guess I just wanted to blog about something to help ease the pain I've felt lately. I'm here today to rant over my lost love. Just at the last semester of high school, I had fallen madly in love with a boy, G. He was the universe to me. I thought I had been in love before, but ever since the beginning of senior year at my then new school, the second I saw him, I just knew he was the one for me. Yes, I'm aware of how insane that sounds, but sometimes you just know. Yes, I'm aware that I am only an eighteen-year-old freshman college girl, but I will tell you one thing; when I first saw him, I had fallen in love with him. The only problem is I had a boyfriend at the time of falling in love at first sight with G. Boyfriend 1 and I did not break up until around November, by then G had already asked another girl to Fall Ball and I had assumed they were dating. I was heartbroken. So I waited. January came around and I learned that G had never actually dated that girl. Excited, I swooped in immediately and snatched him as my own. To say the least, we fell in love within the coming months. It was amazing- I've never had anyone get me like he did. No one makes me laugh the way he does, no one makes me smile the way he does. He's the biggest dork and nerd I have ever met. He loved me unlike anyone I have ever met. He really thought of me as the entire world and he gave me everything I could ever want- love, honesty, and beauty. He made me feel so beautiful. No one has ever made me feel beautiful. Every insecurity he ever had made me love him even more. He was and still is perfect. I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. He is perfect to me. Unfortunately, one of G's demons started to consume him on his first two weeks of college. He started to push me away. He forgot who he is as a person. I was so hurt to see him fall out of love with me. He broke my heart into a gazillion pieces. Although he cried over the phone when he made the break up call(I'm not even sure if the tears were real), he couldn't even tell me he loved me anymore. He said he still misses me, but it's hard to believe that someone who misses me could leave me like that. He has forgotten me. How could someone who loved me so passionately, suddenly let me go like that? God knows I miss him more than anything in this entire world. I miss having my partner in crime. There's no one there to laugh at my jokes anymore. There's no one to make me giggle when I am sad. There's no one to make me smile even when I'm angry. There's no one there anymore. Now I know what Love is. 

I miss you.